Body Solace Studio

Yoga, Pilates, Functional Fitness classes in Truro, NS

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The Over-Sized, Light-Grey Skeleton in My Closet

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I have these sweatpants; they’re way too big, they have a hole in the shin, and they have permanent stains from regular wear. I bought them about 14 years ago to support a fundraiser for children with brain cancer and they’ve traveled with me in each place I’ve lived.

A few weeks ago, during the Girl’s Circle that I was facilitating for the Central Nova Women’s Resource Center, we were discussing clothing choices and how the way we presented ourselves made us feel. We took time to consider the things we regularly wore and why, and my sweatpants were on my list.

Sure, they’re super spacious, comfortable pants, and they’re my go-to for when I’m at home. But I realized in that activity with the girls, that maybe, my sweatpants are a part of my past that I haven’t been willing to let go of.

You see, 12 years ago I was wearing my sweatpants when something happened that negatively shaped a large part of my life. That day devastated me, and it’s a memory I won’t soon forget.

While I made my list of regularly-worn clothing with the Girl’s Circle, I mentally scanned my closet for all the things I could likely get rid of; the things that I never seem to wear because they’re not “me.” As someone who’s quick to act once I get an idea, I went home and started going through my drawers to create a donation pile. I pulled out a few pairs of shorts, a pair of jeans, some boots, and a tank top. I also pulled out my sweatpants.

We all have things in our lives that connect us to memories; some good, some bad. It’s whether or not we choose to continue letting that connection to a material item rule our day-to-day thoughts. Can we continue to walk by that painting without remembering its origin? Can we dust off that old box filled with the past and display its contents with pride, or burn the damn thing once and for all? Can we get rid of the things in our lives that are keeping us angry, in pain, or hidden?

I drove to the Colchester Community Workshop this week and dropped off my bag of clothing. Someone else will soon be wearing a few pairs of shorts, a pair of jeans, some new boots, and a tank top… but not my sweatpants. They’re still tucked in my drawer.

I did not write this to say “and then I got rid of them!” and be the hero of the story. I wrote it to say that we all have skeletons in our closet (pardon the pun); some that we’re ready to get rid of right away, and some that will take time… And that’s okay. My sweatpants will still take time; I’m not ready to let them go yet. But I am ready to admit that they’re keeping me in pain. Maybe with this acknowledgment, I will stop putting them on when I’m feeling bad about myself or upset. Maybe with this acknowledgment, I’ll stop wearing them altogether, and maybe one day I’ll actually be able to let them go.

It’s okay to not be ready, and it’s okay to take things slow, but you owe it to yourself to be honest and acknowledge the things that are taking up too much of your space. Remember that you deserve to let self-worth, trust, and love fill the room instead.

~ Danielle

No more apologizing… For the little things

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We moved into our new studio space just over two weeks ago. Have you been in yet? We’ve been busy; there has been unpacking, cleaning, rearranging, promoting, teaching new classes, preparing for our grand opening (on Friday, Nov 24th ),  and getting ready for the holiday season.

So I haven’t written a blog post in a while.

But you know what? All those things above are excuses… To be honest, I also just haven’t felt like writing. I haven’t felt like there was anything for me to say, so why bother filling the internet with more blabber?

I kept writing on my To Do list: “Write Blog Post,” and then I would push it over onto the next week’s list (and repeat, and repeat).  It was starting to weigh heavy on me; I started feeling guilty for not writing; I felt like I needed to write something like “I’m sorry I haven’t written in a while…” and then I stopped myself.

Why do I feel this way? Why do I feel the need to apologize for something I most definitely don’t need to apologize for? Where else in my life am I doing this?

So, this feeling led me to where I am now: writing about not writing (whaaa?!). But more specifically, writing about not apologizing.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there are times when we really should be saying sorry, and when a truly meaningful “sorry” can make all the difference. But like the Boy Who Cried Wolf, if we’re apologizing for every silly thing, then our big, necessary sorry’s won’t count for much.

As a practice of Self-Study, I challenge you to be mindful of all the times in your day that you say sorry or feel guilty for something that is minor and really not necessary.

Are you with me? Are you willing to stop feeling guilty and apologizing? Here are a few things that I’m going to commit to stopping apologizing for; maybe they’ll resonate with you too:

  1. Staying home

Dude, sometimes I just want to sprawl on the couch with a glass of wine and watch bad television. I shouldn’t have to feel guilty about that. We apologize and make up elaborate excuses for turning down an invitation. A simple “No thank you, I hope you have a lovely time” is enough.

  1. Clothing choices

We apologize for being underdressed, overdressed, mismatched, or anything in between. If you like it and you’re comfortable in it, don’t apologize for it.

  1. Saying no

Your free time is Your. Free. Time. If you spend it running around, attending this and that, and basically burning yourself out, you’ve lost your free time, and you’ve lost the energy to show up fully in all areas of your life. If you want free time, like real free time, or if you crave 8 whole hours of sleep, a proper lunch break, a weekend off, or at least 24 hours away from your email, you are going to have to say no without an apology. Practice on the little things and work your way up; it’s worth it.

  1. Thinking differently

Being curious and considering new ideas and ways to create, thrive, love, and live is amazing and fulfilling as a human being. When people reject your ideas and make you feel like apologizing, remember that it’s not about you. They may feel threatened and afraid that if you change, you may then think differently about them. Maybe they’re afraid of change and want you to be afraid too. Be gentle, authentic and inspiring, instead of apologetic.

  1. Being yourself

Apologize for being you, are we kidding here? Why? How silly we humans are. In a society that conforms and forces ourselves to fit in, we desperately need to you to be unapologetically you. Okay? Thanks.

  1. Changing your mind

Sticking with something that’s not working, just for the sake of sticking to it serves no one. Things change outside and inside… The only constant and thing we can expect in life is change. When we hold on to something just so we can be right or because we are afraid to change course, we compromise the opportunity to learn and grow. Be okay with changing your mind, and don’t apologize for it.

  1. Putting your health first

Going to bed early, eating healthy, exercising, whatever! Sometimes our healthy choices are intimidating to people who can’t seem to make their own healthy choices, and they try to (subconsciously or consciously) derail us. When you put your health first, you can show up fully and connect with life from a place you just can’t access when you are rundown, sick or tired. Good health is nothing to apologize for.

  1. Taking longer than a few seconds to respond

Emails, text messages, social media comments, phone calls, the list goes on and on. How many of your interactions start with “sorry for taking so long to get back to you” even though it’s been less than a day? Yeesh, let’s slow down people! Sometimes it’s not the right time – you’re busy and responding at that moment would mean that you’re not fully present to the conversation, or you need some time to formulate your best response… waiting is a good thing! Don’t apologize for thinking things through and responding with presence.

We don’t know about you, but we’re going to be watching our apologies and feelings of guilt. You can still be kind and loving without being sorry.

~ Danielle

How to Look Great for a Special Event (Hint: It’s not what you think!)

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This post was originally written by Danielle for the August 2017 edition of the Truro Hub Now newspaper. 

I’m getting married this month. It’s a big day in our lives, and I want to look my best. I’ve been watching what I eat, I’ve been whitening my teeth by brushing at night with charcoal (yes, it’s a thing, and my entire mouth turns black for a few minutes… not pretty), and I’ve been attempting to get a sun-kissed look on my skin (a combination of natural sun, and bottled sun… I burn easily). I’m busy booking and attending appointments, spending time browsing hair and makeup styles, and talking back and forth with multiple people about how I should look on the big day.

And I’m getting a little tired of it all.

Here’s the thing: my fiancée loves me, for me. He sees me in my sweats and sans-makeup-face more often than being dressy and dolled up, and he still wants to marry me.

As we started planning for the celebration, I began following some websites and social media accounts for tips, and I ended up blocking and canceling my subscriptions.

What happened to just being yourself? Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves for these events? Whether it’s a wedding, or a graduation, or a reunion, or anything – we put heavy expectations on ourselves to “fix” who we already are.

We deprive ourselves of delicious food. We worry about what we’re wearing. We spend unnecessary amounts of money. We compare ourselves to others. And it hurts us by not valuing who we naturally are (oh, and speaking of hurt, don’t even get me started about waxing and plucking those stray lip hairs).

Of course I want to have beautiful photos, and of course, I want to feel confident and attractive on our wedding day, but I can do that without beating myself up in the process. Our photos will be more beautiful if I’m feeling and looking like myself, and I’ll be more confident if I’m comfortable.

I want to fight back on the idea of “Beauty is Pain,” because it’s not. You, as you are, are beautiful, and you shouldn’t have to hurt – physically or emotionally – to achieve it. Beauty is not hard because it’s easy to be your natural and authentic self.

I’m speaking about all this for this month’s column because it’s currently in my life right now, but I also think it’s relevant for many of our lives, at many different stages. The next time you see an article about losing weight specifically for an event or thinking you need to fix yourself for a superficial reason, remember that the people in your life love you for you. And you should love you for you as well.

“Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s…” yeah, it’s you. You were born with beauty already, and you don’t need any product to tell you otherwise.

~ Danielle

The 8-Limbs of Yoga, and the “Yoga Body”

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Originally written in 2015 and re-published

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to attend a two and a half day 8-Limbs of Yoga course. We focused on the 8-limbed path of yoga, which was originally written by Patanjali thousands of years ago. This course was very informative, both for my own practice and for my teaching as well. It allowed me to put theory into practice and allowed me to deepen my yogic knowledge and practice.

So, naturally, I got to thinking… (A bit randomly, but stick with me here!) for the past few years, we have had a preconceived idea of “what yoga is supposed to look like.” Or, the “Yoga Body.”

The phrase “Yoga Body” may cause you to think of a skinny body wearing tiny shorts and effortlessly balancing in a handstand… Because really, that is what social media and yoga publications (for the most part) is pushing on us. Or maybe it brings to mind the image of any body type that is both strong and flexible.

Now, there is nothing wrong with being skinny, wearing tiny shorts, doing handstands, being strong or being flexible (basically any of the images and ideas that are pushed into our minds from yogic publications and media) but there is, however, a limitation in seeing only the outside of a person (yourself included!) and what a body can achieve physically.

Think about it: a “Yoga Body” is a mixture of tissue and bones connected to a beating heart, a deep breath, a focused mind—and a steady spirit. A “Yoga Body” is a body. ‘Nuff said.

For many of us, our yoga practice began by wanting to achieve a healthier relationship with our body. For many of us, perhaps we began our practice in pursuit of said “Yoga Body.” But a Yoga Body is one part of a complete person—not only a collection of bones, muscles, and organs but a body of heart, mind, and spirit too.

The practice of yoga may have led us to a deeper understanding of our mind, emotions and our consciousness as well. And understanding these aspects is important – very much so – but don’t overlook the value of treating the body with the love and respect it deserves.

Our bodies are the essential vehicle for all of these practices.

So, back to the 8-Limbs that got me thinking… The Yamas and Niyamas are the first two steps upon the eight-limb path that is yoga. They offer a simple yet profound way of looking at our bodies as more than a collection of exterior physical features.

As an alternative to any preconceived cultural notions of what a yoga body is supposed to be, consider this instead:

The Yamas

  • Ahimsa (non-harming) is a Yoga Body (a mindset) that replaces harmful thoughts with helpful words—one that embraces tears when they come and allows joy and ecstasy to pulse through, uninhibited.
  • Satya (truth) is a Yoga Body that is aligned with reality. It acknowledges the pain and welcomes a challenge. It knows when to be still and when to move. It acts with the truth—but when it does not, it forgives, accepts and moves on.
  • Asteya (non-stealing) is a Yoga Body that receives all of the freely given gifts of sunshine, fresh air, friendly embraces, and beautiful music. It recognizes the beauty in all things, accepts what is freely given, and does not take what is not.
  • Brahmacharya (self-direction) is a Yoga Body that honors all aspects of life through honest, deliberate actions. It directs passionate energy toward meaningful work and being of service to others.
  • Aparigraha (non-grasping) is a Yoga Body that accepts what is and loves. It embraces the present moment and does not bury itself in greed beyond necessity.

The Niyamas

  • Saucha (purity) is a Yoga Body that consistently cleanses and purifies all the senses through a judgment of what is consumed.
  • Santosha (contentment) is an accepting Yoga Body that is content with life and all that is contained within. It lacks nothing and exudes happiness with what is.
  • Tapas (cleansing through fire) is a disciplined Yoga Body trained to withstand hardship, heartache, and loss. It can relax each night and begin again in the morning, taking on a bright new day with hope and courage.
  • Svadhyaya (self-study) is a curiously attentive Yoga Body, always listening for new cues. It wonders why, and moves without judgment. It listens to the language of pain and adjusts itself accordingly.
  • Ishvaraparanidana (surrender) is a Yoga Body that surrenders to rest and restoration when needed. It recognizes that it is everything and nothing at the same time.

The next time the temptation arises to compare yourself to the body on the mat next to you or in the Instagram photo on your phone, come back to this thought instead, replacing “Yoga Body” with “I am.”

Make this thought into an affirmation or mantra, honoring the body as a beautiful part of the complete person.

~ Danielle